My Unlikely Journey: From Skepticism to the Sacred Dance of Tantra

If you had told me years ago that I would be a spiritual teacher, a beacon for others on a path of inner discovery, I would have laughed—or more likely, offered a cynical retort. My feet were firmly planted in the soils of atheism and anarchy; my mind was a fortress against the mystical and the metaphysical. And yet, life, in its infinite jest and wisdom, seems to delight in the unexpected twists in our paths.

My journey began in the shadows of dogmatic disbelief. As an atheist, the very concept of spirituality seemed to me like a tapestry of beautiful lies—a comfort for those unwilling to confront the hard truths of existence. Anarchy, with its fierce independence and systemic skepticism, further bolstered my stance against the structured order of religious thought.

However, there was always a flame of curiosity that even my staunchest beliefs couldn’t snuff out. This flame led me to the left-hand path, a term often associated with alternative or non-conformist spiritual practices. I delved into the occult, seeking not the supernatural, but understanding of those hidden aspects of the psyche and the cosmos that mainstream narratives often neglect or misrepresent.

In my embrace of the esoteric, I found myself wrestling with concepts and practices that many would find disturbing or contradictory to spiritual growth. But within this space, there was a profound sense of liberation—a freedom that came from exploring the depths of the human experience without the fetters of societal judgment.

Ironically, it was through these explorations that I began to sense a greater tapestry—a connection to something more. It was as if by walking the left-hand path, I inadvertently stepped onto a bridge that led me right back to the center.

 

 

And at the center was Tantra.

 

Tantra was not what I expected. Often misunderstood in the West as solely a sexual practice, I discovered that it is so much more. It is an ancient tradition that recognizes the sacredness in all aspects of life, including our physical bodies and sensual experiences. Tantra became my middle way—not a path of renunciation, nor one of indulgence, but a path of balance, awareness, and integration.

As a Tantrika, I’ve learned to weave the threads of my seemingly disparate past into a coherent tapestry. The discipline of the atheist now serves as a foundation for critical inquiry into spiritual experiences. The rebelliousness of the anarchist fuels my passion to challenge the status quo and to offer alternative pathways to those seeking meaning.

Now, as a teacher, I am humbled. I hold space for others as they explore their own paths, providing guidance not from a place of ‘having all the answers’ but from a shared journey of continuous discovery. I am not here to convert but to converse; not to preach, but to facilitate personal revelation.

In embracing Tantra, I’ve not abandoned my past—I’ve allowed it to converge with my present, creating a future where every moment holds the potential for transformation. My experience with Christianity, my dabbling in astrology, my Buddhist Journey and my Quest to understand Taoism combined with my understanding of anarchy, all come into play. They are all a part of the spiritual mosaic that is uniquely mine, and which now informs my teachings.

My path from a far-right Christian upbringing through the occult and left-hand paths to Tantra has been anything but linear. It’s been a journey of falling apart and coming together, of questioning and discovering, of losing myself and finding something greater within. If my story resonates with you, know that it is never too late to embark on your own spiritual journey, to discover your path, and perhaps, find yourself teaching others in ways you never imagined.

The path of spirituality is not reserved for the few—it is the birthright of all. And perhaps the most profound spirituality arises from the courage to question, the strength to let go of old identities, and the wisdom to weave the diverse strands of our lives into a vibrant tapestry of growth and understanding.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find the courage to continue, the strength to be vulnerable, and the wisdom to know that you are never truly walking alone.

I host a private facebook group for those who live in San Diego and who would like to keep an ear to the ground of the local Tantra Community. If you are interested in joining click here. I’m not quite ready to take my teachings out on the road, but that is coming quite soon, so stay tuned for now, and in the meantime enjoy a few more of my dad jokes and adult humor!